Marriage, The Christian Way
Marriage, The Christian Way: Building a Christian Marriage
In December 2025 I will have been married to my wife Helen for fifty-four years. But marriage is not a set and forget deal. So, I am always keen to keep learning and growing. Thus, I was delighted to receive a new marriage book entitled Marriage, The Christian Way. Now as a disclaimer, I know the author, Ralph Bowles, very well. It is just fifty years since we both entered Moore Theological College together and wrestled with Greek, Hebrew and an assortment of challenging theological subjects. We were both ordained into the Anglican church and have both served in the Sydney diocese and Brisbane diocese, where we are now retired.
In all those years I have found Ralph a good friend but also a very stimulating one. He is very widely read and thoughtful and desires to convey complex ideas clearly to the people he serves. In fact, I think the only drawback I find in talking to Ralph is that I always find he intrigues me with another three or four books that I find I must read. He keeps finding good new ones faster than I can read them. So, when Ralph writes a book on marriage, I simply know it is not going to be shallow but going to be chock full of stimulating ideas based on firm Christian foundations.
The book is written mainly with Christian couples in mind. Of course, anyone will be helped by reading it but it is so easy as a young Christian couple to enter marriage without knowing what it is all about and what is particularly distinctive about Christian marriage. Thus, Ralph explains what a marriage is: a covenant under God but also what a marriage is for: physical union, godly children and Christian companionship. Many good marriage books simply miss these.
The layout is particularly pleasing as the reader can consume a range of wonderful ideas in bite size chunks. There are thirty-one chapters, but they are quite short and easily digested. At the end of each chapter are questions for discussion that would be ideal for a couple reading the book together. So, it would be great for people leading up to marriage or for those more mature seeking a grease and oil change. It will be extremely helpful for pastors engaged in marriage preparation or small group studies.
One feature that I found helpful was that Ralph finds much inspiration and many illustrations from the Anglican Prayer Book. I certainly urge non-Anglicans not to be put off by this feature. While Anglican services have been modernized in their essence, they all go back to the service produced by the genius of the C16 Archbishop Thomas Cranmer who distilled the bible’s principles on marriage and conveyed them in profound liturgy. Many current non-Anglican services owe their parentage to Cranmer.
Not only does Ralph emphasize the spiritual dimensions of Christian marriage, but there are range of topics covered such as forgiveness and hospitality and marriage repair that don’t immediately spring to mind. Neither does Ralph shy away from more controversial subjects such as divorce and roles, which I scrutinized with great interest. I am sure not everyone will agree with every point, but it is impossible to read these chapters without being stimulated to think and reflect on what your beliefs are.
I read this book, chapter by chapter over a few weeks and in that time, it lay on a small table in my study. One day it caught Helen’s eye, and she suggested we read it and discuss it together. I will be delighted to do so hoping that this old dog, even after fifty -four years can still learn some new tricks. Marriage the Christian Way by Ralph Bowles is available at Amazon. I highly commend it to you.